I have touched on this a few times, but I feel more comfortable talking about my Dad's bout in the hospital now. Just over 10 weeks ago, he was having a lot of pain in his stomach. After a trip to the emergency room in the middle of the night and many hours of waiting and diagnosis, he needed emergency surgery for an obstructed bowel. By the way, it was my parents' 55th wedding anniversary that we were all supposed to be celebrating the next day.
Let me go back seven years to explain why he ended up with an obstructed bowel. My Dad at 73 was diagnosed with cancer and needed an esophagectomy. That's a brutal 11-hour surgery where they remove two-thirds of your esophagus and a third of your stomach. He was refused by a number of hospitals because of his age. Luckily an amazing Dr did choose to take him on as a patient.
My Dad is an animal. He came out of the surgery with flying colors. After a few days in the hospital, he was going to be sent to a skilled nursing facility because he would be on a feeding tube through his stomach for a while and had to regain all of his strength. It was the summer and I wasn't working, so I chose to have him go home and I would take on the role of nursing him back to health. Each day he did as he was supposed to, if not more, and he made a great recovery.
As one could imagine, with a compromised esophagus and stomach eating wasn't easy. My Dad would end up in pain a lot. Jump forward seven years and we now found out the feeding tube that was there, created some scar tissue that must have adhered to his bowel. The good news, the emergency surgery in all likelihood cleared this up. The bad news, when he was coming out of surgery he aspirated. Basically he threw up his gastric contents and they ended up in his lungs.
In case you are ever waiting in a hospital to hear back from the dr about a surgery, if you hear aspiration, it's not good. It compromised my Dad's lungs. He had to be put on a respirator immediately. In other words, he could not breathe on his own. Four days later when they tried to take him off of the respirator he was non-responsive and they had to intubate him again. During this time he also developed pneumonia.
My Dad was in the Intensive Care Unit for the better part of a month. They ended up having to give him a tracheostomy (a hole in his throat with a tube) because they don't like to keep a tube in your mouth for more than two weeks because of further risk of infection. Now my father who was a very vital 80 was not happy to be in this situation. His hands had to be strapped down so he would not pull the breathing tube of his mouth then throat and the feeding tube at that time in his nose.
He was on different sedatives and anti-psychotic medications. Lengthy stays in the hospital can cause delirium. Mind you, this whole time my father is barely conscious. I was up at the hospital constantly as well as on the phone with the medical staff multiple times a day. Things were not good and I wasn't sure if my Dad would make it. When they'd do breathing trials to see if he could breathe without the respirator, the first time he didn't make it 10 minutes. The weening was a long process.
This is when the good and bad point happened, he was able to get off the respirator. You'd think that was good, but he was then moved to a step-down unit, where the staff to patient ratio was not as good as the ICU. Information became less and I ended up having to advocate more. In addition, my father was delirious from meds and being in the hospital for so long.
At this point, I just wanted to get him out of the hospital to a rehab facility. It seemed like he was losing his mind and he wasn't really making progress. The problem was, he wasn't swallowing on his own and leaving the hospital with a feeding tube in his nose was not an option. So, they had to go back and put another feeding tube in his belly. That required another surgery on an 80-year-old man who had been in the hospital for over five weeks.
After it was done, they forgot to put an order through for pain meds. Can you believe that? It was early evening and the staff who performed the surgery were gone. I had to fight and advocate for him to get pain meds. A piece of advice for all, not much happens at night and on weekends in a hospital. So if you are caring for someone you'd better keep a close eye out and be ready to fight.
Shocker, the surgery led to further complications. The feeding tube ended up getting clogged. My Dad wasn't getting any nutrition for days. On top of that, he couldn't swallow so his meds were being administered via the feeding tube, but with it clogged, he was not getting them. Another nightmare! He was to get a special procedure by interventional radiology team to clear the tube, however, they told me it would be five days before they would see him. I'm losing it at this point.
Amazingly, a nurse who had worked with my father at some earlier point during his stay (there was not a lot of continuity with the nursing staff) felt awful for him and took it upon himself to try and clear the tube that many doctors and other staff couldn't for days, and he did. I am forever grateful.
Now we are at the last hurdle. There were only two places in CT that could take my father because of the severity of his health. One of them was Gaylord Rehab in Wallingford CT. It has an incredible reputation. The problem was, they either weren't taking him or they did not have a bed. I had been on the phone with everyone I knew who might know someone there and anyone of influence who might be able to call in a favor.
At around noon on the day the hospital wanted to discharge him, only a day after unclogging his tube, he still didn't have a bed at Gaylord. Through many people, I learned a lot of lingo you need to use to advocate for someone in the hospital. I pulled one of them out here "I don't feel it would be safe to discharge my father at this time." I rattled that off along with a list of things that had been going wrong. The hospital agreed to not discharge.
I then jumped back on the phone and played every card I could to get him into Gaylord. Gratefully, by 2 pm he had a spot. Suddenly I told the staff I thought it would now be safe to discharge him. They were more than happy to do it, I think they were sick of me.
Very long story short, within two days of being in Gaylord, my Dad passed a swallow test. The same test he failed three times in the hospital. Within a week they were no longer using the feeding tube. In only about two weeks' time, he has no eating restrictions. His tracheostomy tube has been removed and that hole is closing. His therapists have all told me he is one of the hardest working people they have ever had and his recovery is nothing short of miraculous. I could go on and on.
So what does this all have to do with training? Well, at 80 my Dad trained regularly on his Total Gym. It's a pulley system attached to a bench that uses bodyweight that if you have insomnia you can see Chuck Norris using in the wee hours of the morning on infommercials. One day in the hospital when my Pop was somewhat lucid he said to me "I worked out every day and see where it got me?" Like working out caused this issue. Meanwhile, every medical staff member marveled that my Dad made it through this. When nurses found out his age while in the ICU they couldn't believe he was 80. Had he not been so fit, he would not have survived this. And on top of that, the guy who couldn't breathe, eat, walk, and had appeared to lose his mind, is on his way to making a 100% recovery. A testament to exercise.
Now I have a long way to go. Taking in my Mom, holding down my job, taking care of my parent's house, my house, all the bills, advocating for and visiting my Dad vigilantly, finding them a new place to live has taken its toll on me. I haven't trained and I feel terrible. Between inactivity and stress, I am a mess. But, my Dad is flourishing. In a week's time, he'll be out. Hopefully, then I can get myself on track.
Sorry for the blathering, but this was cathartic for me. Plus, I hope you all learned something. Whether it's the value of exercise or that you need to advocate your ass off for those who need medical help. Remember, your family member is the most important person to you, but to many others, they just might be a number.
Oh yeah, while editing I saw this journey began with what was supposed to be my parents' 55th anniversary. The special cannoli cake that was made for the occasion, we were told could be frozen. Friends and family will be enjoying it next weekend at a very special dual anniversary and Pop's 11-week combined hospital and rehab stay. No matter what, it's going to be the best cake I've ever tasted.
