Small Talk.

I know a lot of people use the gym as a substitute for social hour, and I’m totally cool with that. But for the love of God, please don’t include me in your philosophical conversations about the robot apocalypse or ask me whether the bench padding that’s worn down to half a millimeter below regulation standards is specific enough to train on for your upcoming meet (yes, those are both real examples). Especially don’t do that when I’m literally in the middle of a goddamned set (again, yes, it’s happened).

In all seriousness, it’s impossible to really get the most out of your training if you’re making small talk between sets. At the very least, debating the merits of grain-fed versus corn-based dog food in between sets of bench is going to make it harder to get in the zone. Use that time instead to visualize your next set or to ask your training partner for feedback on technique.

That said, there’s always a need for balance. In particular, I think small talk can be a very useful tool for managing nerves. If you’re working up to a very heavy set that’s so intimidating that just thinking about it gets you stressed out, that’s a great time to go chat about the best Black Mirror episode. Over the long term, you want to develop enough mindfulness so that the idea of a hard session doesn’t cause that kind of stress, but doing so can take a long time, and there’s nothing wrong with using distraction as a quick fix.

Screaming.

This one probably sounds pretty darn hypocritical coming from a guy who literally has a highlight reel of his best gym screams.

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I have zero problem with getting hyped AF for a big lift. If you’re going all out, then by all means, you do you. Whether it means hitting some of that nose tork, going off in a corner to meditate, or something in between, whatever you need to get the right level of psychological arousal is all cool in my book.

What’s not cool: the guy who’s doing a set of 10 on preacher curls and screaming. At the top of his lungs. Every. Fucking. Rep. That is (A) really stupid, (B) distracting, and (C) really only making it harder to properly brace if you’re doing pretty much anything besides preacher curls.

Smelling Like Shit.

There’s no caveats on this one. If you can smell you, I can smell you, and I don’t like it. Take a fucking shower. Hyde Park Gym has a rule in its membership agreement that says everyone in the gym must smell fresh, and I think that should be boilerplate language in every gym on the planet.

That’s enough ranting for me for one month. What are your gym pet peeves?