On August 19, 2010, Father's Day, was forever changed for me. On that day, I became part of the “Dead Dads Club.” From this, I’ve learned that not a single day has passed that I’ve not thought of him. So, he may be no longer of this Earth, but he’s not gone either. I’ve learned that his guidance is still there. I just no longer need to ask for it. And his lessons, life, influence and love won’t stop with me; they will be passed on to my children and my children’s children.
Every Father’s Day, I take some time alone to ask myself some important questions. I free myself from distractions and become as self-aware as I can.
I ask: Have I been a better father than I was last year? Am I providing to the best of my ability or just giving the leftovers? Am I spending quantity time with them, or just around to do fun stuff many think of as quality time? Am I listening to them? Am I reinforcing the values we’ve raised them on? Do I demonstrate these values, not just when they can see, but always? Do I tell them when they do good? Do I correct them when they are wrong, or make excuses for it? If I’m wrong, do I tell them I screwed up or put the blame somewhere else? What type of an example am I being?
Do I realize, really realize, I’m their role model for how they will treat others and expect to be treated by others? My actions speak louder than my words.
When I answer all of these questions, would my wife agree with my assessment? Am I treating her the way I’d expect my sons to treat their significant others when the time comes? If I had daughters, would I be showing them how they should expect to be treated by their significant others when the time comes?
Every year, I realize that I have to keep becoming better. Id never say I’ve been a poor parent- far from it. I hold very high standards in this regard because my actions, accountability and responsibilities make an undeniable difference.
This Is a growing process, but without asking the right questions, all you will grow are weeds or an empty garden.
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