As a lot of you know, I'm not a "fun guy" in the traditional sense. I don't like to venture out, try new things, be around people, travel, eat in fancy restaurants with small food, engage in foreplay or generally celebrate anything for any reason with other people. My idea of fun is training my ass off and just being with the guys, shooting the shit at the gym all day. Plus today's society is getting a tad too genteel and sissified for me to participate in. But every once in a while I dip my toe back in the water just to see if there is anything I'm missing.
Yesterday a friend of mine from the gym sent me a text with a photo showing me these baller ass courtside tickets to the 76ers vs Chicago Bulls game she just received as a gift. The price on the tickets said $465 EACH! I thought to myself, "Holy crap, I didn't even think Superbowl tickets were that much and the sixers are the worst team in basketball". She asked me if I wanted to go with her on a friend-zone date, and as always my first instinct was to say "Fuck no!" Because immediately my mind always runs the gamut of negativity, it'll be crowded, loud, expensive to park, long, uncomfortable, what if people fuck with me, I'll be up way too late on a work night, what am I going to eat, what if I have to poop, etc . . . all the usual things.
But even though I went through all that, against my better judgement, I decided I had to see what the hell a $465 ticket will get you at a Sixers game. The tickets came with some pretty sweet reserved (but not VIP) parking which was nice. When we got into the arena they ushered us down to the floor and the seats were incredible, until the other guy that sat next to me showed up with his huge Gortex jacket and plopped his ass down and was all over me like a strung out stripper looking for a fix. I was sitting so close to the sixers coach I could have consulted him on trades. We even had our own waitress that was bringing us booze and food . . . but we had to pay for it, whomp whoooomp. But the game was cool and they really keep the action going during the time outs with hot dancers, loud hip-hop music, kids flipping around off of trampolines dunking, rapid fire t-shirt cannons and all that crap.
I haven't been to a live event like this since my dad begrudgingly would take me and my brother to a Flyers or Phillies game when we were kids. The two main differences between then and now is that the whole arena was no longer filled with cigarette smoke, and this whole "Dance Cam" foolishness during time-outs. You've probably seen it, where camera guy goes around the stadium and everyone goes ape-shit dancing so they can be seen on the huge scoreboard acting like jackasses. I was shocked at the fact that people were really jazzed up to be seen dancing on the scoreboard. There is nothing that'll make ya cringe like watching an older white guy trying to dance to "Turn down for what". I was truly embarrassed for them, not only would my dad NOT have jumped up to dance but he probably would have smashed the camera man's camera over his head for thinking he would. And if I was a kid and got up and tried to dance (which I wouldn't have) he would have told me to stop acting like a girl and to sit the hell down.
Yep, attending a sporting event is a LOT different than it was in the old days of an all male audience in jackets and ties, derby hats, smoking fat cigars as they drank beer. What ever happened to the strong and silent type?