I used to work for a manager who was great at turning situations around in record time. Working with him was a vast learning experience. He was a phenomenal listener. If I complained to him about a subordinate staff member, he heard me out, asked some probing questions, and did his best to understand the entire situation. He would then repeat the story back to me in his own words and then ask me if he had said everything right. I either confirmed this for him or fill in whatever gaps he’d missed. If I had to fill in the gaps, he’d repeat the process, telling me the entire story again and asking if he’d missed anything.
Every time we did this, he’d ask me the same question: “What are you going to do about it?” I was responsible for fixing the problem. Often, I didn’t want to fix anything at all, so he’d ask me another question: “Why are you so upset about it?” He taught me that I was accountable for fixing my own problems. If I didn’t want to be part of the solution, I needed to shut up and live with it.
We all get fired up from time to time. It’s just a matter of remembering where we’re going and understanding whether this behavior will really help us get there or not.
It really is this simple.
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