The Prowler Flu—We Need Your Help

While everyone’s attention is tightly focused on health care it only stands to reason that everyone around our office keeps hearing about what seems to be an ever growing ailment: The Prowler Flu. If you haven’t experienced this phenomenon quite yet, here are some more documented cases:


New Hampshire

New Jersey


The Prowler Flu:

Symptoms: Fever, aches, chills, tiredness, disassociation, slurred speech, cramping, some crap about GPP that nobody understands, seeing stars, muscle aches, dry coughs, vomiting, anal leakage, incontinence, precum - milky discharge, double vision, swamp ass, fromunda cheese, backing biscuits (females), decrease in FUPA volume, decrease of  body fat,reinforcement of bulimic habits and being in the best shape of your life.

Please Help

To spread the word, we’re asking for your help. We’re looking for “Citizen Journalists” (that means you guys) to confirm any and all new cases. In return for your work, here is what we’re going to do:

Absolutely NOTHING...

Now we may call the person in the corner office over to look at it just to see their reaction as you vomit on pavement. We may even forward it to a friend with a message like, "You HAVE to watch this one!" If it's REALLY good we'll post it in the next Prowler Flu article and send you a T-shirt or something. We are working on a couple real cool Prowler tees right now - so maybe you could be the first to get one. Then again - maybe not, depends on what the boss says and he's not around right now so there you go.

I guess we need some of these don't we?

  • New cases must be documented by video only
  • Only one case per video is allowed; each case must be done in an separate video
  • A Web link to videos should be submitted to the comments section

Stuff To Make Sure I Don't Get Fired

  • NO Obscene, profane, lewd, defamatory content, data or images unsuitable for broadcast
  • No Nudity (unless it’s extremely good-looking women -- just kidding)
  • No License plates, phone numbers, personal addresses (physical or email) or otherwise
  • No Derogatory characterizations of any ethnic, racial, sexual or religious groups

Buzz Kill

All entries submitted become the property of the (Sponsor). By participating in this Contest, each participant agrees that Sponsor may, at its option, post the entry online on Sponsor’s website, Sponsor’s Affiliate sites (, etc.) and any other site. Release: By entering the Contest, you hereby grant the Sponsor, Elite Fitness Systems, its employees, partners and sponsors, and legal representatives the irrevocable, perpetual, worldwide right to use, reproduce, edit, market, broadcast, store, distribute, have distributed, reproduce, re-arrange, change, add to or delete from, translate, adapt or otherwise revise and/or alter the video or blur or distort any person, place or item depicted in the video. Any video deemed inappropriate or unsuitable for posting, in Sponsor’s sole discretion will be disqualified.

Final Note

This is a limited edition Prowler 2 that will be pulled at the end of April 2010 (yes, this year and this month). You have two weeks left so go here and buy one today so you to can get "The Prowler Flu" or whatever you want to call it.