“You can never be afraid!”

I found myself shouting this to a group of little boys while I was clinging to a cliff wall 100 feet off the ground this past weekend.

Every weekend I will usually go free hand rock climbing at various hiking spots around the Los Angeles area. I’ve always loved climbing, and while I will not claim to be an expert by any means, I have enough confidence in my skills to take some fairly heady risks while doing this.

On this particular day, it happened that a family was walking along the trail at the top of the cliff—a mom, a dad, and four boys who were all between the ages of three and six. They happened to spot us clinging to the rock wall, and the boys immediately flipped out. I was about two-thirds to the top, and I  was close enough to them to be able to have a shouting conversation.

I described once before how a little boy who watched me train and commented that I was strong really made me consider the “why” of lifting and what it means to me. This particular experience, on the other hand, was far more surreal, to say the least.

Upon realizing that I could hear them, the little boys immediately began reigning down “life” questions that I found both hysterical and incredibly poignant in nature. The entire experience felt like something out of a movie.

“Why are you climbing this?”

Because it was here, and I love climbing.

“Why do you love climbing?”

Because it challenges me every time I do it.

“Why do you have muscles?”

Because I train really hard to have muscles.

“Does everyone with a beard have muscles?” (I actually had to stop climbing to laugh at this one).

Not everyone, but they should!

“Do you have to be strong to climb?”

You definitely have to be strong.

“How did you get strong?”

I choose to be.

“What happens if you fall?”

If you fall, you die.

“Have you ever fallen?”

Never, not even once.

“Why have you never fallen?"

I don’t look down, I just look up.

“Why aren’t you afraid?

You can’t ever be afraid.

“But why aren’t you afraid?”

Because I don’t believe in fear!

And I swear on my life, I am not making any of this up. When I got to the top, the little boys all went crazy and wanted to know everything from how old I was and where I was born to what my favorite color was, whether or not I had a dog, what kind of dog it was, what was its name, and where the dog was right now. I had never imagined myself to be a role model, but it made me realize how powerful a “hero” experience can be to a child. I also was blown away by how many times a child can ask “why” in a one-minute period. Literally every answer I gave had a follow-up question that questioned my answer. If you ever want to have your life broken down and analyzed, have a five-year-old boy ask you “why?"

By this time, my buddy had gotten stuck and had to climb back down. When the boys, of course, asked why he got stuck, their Mom hysterically replied, “it's because he doesn’t have a beard.” (I am so sorry Tully, but it was too good not to put in).

As we began walking down the trail, the mom told the boys that the lesson for the day was to never be afraid. The boys decided this meant trying to one up each other by jumping off of everything they could climb on, and seeing who could outrun who. And as they climbed and jumped off small boulders, they punctuated this with a triumphant declaration of, “I’m not afraid!”

My buddy and I were both a bit blown out by the experience. As I’ve said in the past, I’m young and I don’t have kids. And before that happened, I had absolutely no idea how powerful a hero/role model experience could be. At the same time, interacting with them really made me question…well, everything in regards to my life and where I’m currently at in my career. I’ve read and purchased many, many resources on personal development, training, business, etc. But none of those things have ever so thoroughly forced me to give off-the-cuff answers as to “why” I do what I do like those little boys did.

I ended up walking with the family for about a half of a mile, and when we got down to the riverbed, there was a small cave that all the boys wanted to climb up to. Both my buddy and myself were peppered with questions the entire time, but we also talked at length with the parents as well. Once we got to the cave, I then helped them all climb into it one by one, and we actually got a few photos in as well.

It was at this point that they decided to turn back around, as it was getting later in the day. The parents were extremely grateful, and their mom gave me a hug at the end, thanking me and telling me, “they are never going to forget this!” As they were walking away, she told all of them, “remember what he said...you can't ever be afraid!”

And I meant it. Fear is much like failure. Everyone experiences it, but it’s your attitude towards it that is the difference maker. There will always be those individuals who hold themselves back in some way because they are afraid. There are also those individuals who will readily face the fear and take risks, not concerning themselves with what might happen.

Fear can be a powerful motivator, there is no doubt about that. Many great athletes have professed to being afraid or scared before they went out to compete. I will readily say that there have been many times when the possibility of dying, if I fell or lost my grip, was a completely real possibility. But I never let this inhibit me from taking risks. Once I make that choice there is literally no going back. Either I drop off, or I do what needs to be done to reach the top. I cannot afford to be afraid.

Fear is an inhibitor. If you choose to accept it, you are settling for the fact that you 1) have a limit as to what you are capable of, and 2) you are compromising yourself and telling yourself that you WILL NOT break this limit.

Don’t ever do this. No one that chooses compromises will ever live a fulfilling life, however “safe” he or she may be. Watching the boys climb the boulders and then jump off of them without fear was one of the most inspiring things I’ve seen in my life. They were literally ready to take the leap over and over again. Most adults I know don’t have that attitude. They let their fear inhibit their personal and professional development and success. They are too afraid to climb, too afraid to leap, and too ready to believe in limits.

Don’t ever believe this. Courage is not the absence of fear, but finding the will to face it. You cannot be held back by a limit if you don’t believe that one exists.

My buddy and I continued along the trail after this. We were planning on climbing to the top of a particular waterfall, and we had a ways to go.