I was sent this email and received permission to pass it on.
Hi Dave,
I just read the December 12, 2012, entry on your log titled, "A Matter of Perspective," and in it you embedded a video of Garth Brook's "The Dance." In the video, there are clips of the late world-champion bull rider Lane Frost. That, coupled with the content of the log, prompted me to write you.
November 2011 saw the end of my thirteen-year bull riding career. It didn't end how I had hoped it would—retiring with multiple world championships and millions of dollars in prize money won. Rather, it ended with me physically broken, hobbling out of the arena to a half-hearted applause by the audience for my effort, financially broke, and hoping I had enough credit on one of my MasterCards to pay for gas to get home. I was mentally broken, having fallen far short of the goals that I had set for myself.
WAS IT WORTH IT?
Some days I reflect upon spending so much of my life chasing dreams and goals that I never achieved. I quit numerous good jobs because they didn't allow me the freedom that I needed when I was wanting to ride almost full-time, traveling to rodeos far and wide. When I was flat-broke after spending my last penny on entry fees and fuel money, I would work another job until I saved up enough money to hit the rodeo road again. Then I would promptly quit that job and head out, not caring about anything except riding bulls.
For thirteen years I sacrificed everything so that I could live out my dreams. I put my dreams and goals and ambitions ahead of everything and everybody else—even at the expense of some friendships and relationships. And I lacked any semblance of balance in my life.
Some days I regret all of that. Perhaps if I hadn't been so selfish in my drive to be great, then today I would have a family and some kind of enjoyable career, and perhaps a body that isn't completely beat to hell. Or, maybe I wouldn't...
But had I not chosen the path that I did, then I might not have learned some of the things that I did during that "dance."
DID I LEARN ANYTHING?
Over the course of the decade (a little over, to be more exact) that I rode, that "dance" proved to be very hard at times—with many highs and many more lows. But it was also quite rewarding. I learned that the human body, although it does break, is capable of getting the shit beaten out of it, adapting, and then is able to come back for more. I learned that pain thresholds can be increased drastically because pain recognition is purely mental. And if one can accept pain instead of fearing it and succumbing to it, then one's tolerance for it can rise greatly.
I learned about perseverance, and I learned not to fear failure. I failed repeatedly at achieving my goals, and since I never won a world championship, one could say that I failed completely, every year. Perhaps that is true, but it is from repeated failure that I learned how to overcome my greatest opponent of all... myself. When I was at low points after being bucked off bull after bull, I would often hear a voice inside of me—mocking me, mocking my poor efforts and shabby ability. Sometimes, when I was limping out of the arena, getting loaded into an ambulance, laying in the ER getting CT scans, or sitting while getting stitches and splints for fractures, it would tell me that it was time to hang it up and be done with it all. But I didn't listen. Instead, I showed up and got on again... and again... and again. I learned perseverance through failure. I'm certainly not content with my failures, but I accept them because it means that I tried.
To paraphrase the lyrics of "The Dance"... if I'd known about all the failures that awaited me during my athletic career—especially at the end of it, I might have done things differently or even not at all. But I'm glad that I didn't know, because even though I would have missed the pain, both physical and emotional, I would have missed the dance.
Sure, maybe I fell short of my goals, and maybe my dreams didn't come true, but maybe, just maybe, it is the chase itself—the dance—that is the true fulfillment of the dream. Well, if that's the case, then I can say that I have had much success in making my dreams come true because I have certainly tried. And, although that particular song and dance is over, another song will follow it, allowing for a new dance to start. And I'm looking forward to it.
Thanks for everything, Dave. Although your "dance" as a powerlifter is over, you have a new dance with elitefts™. I'll be a lifelong customer of elitefts™ because of who you are. Keep up the passion.
-Elliott Corum