This week I was contacted by a guy who wants to train with us. I've never met this guy and he was forwarded to me by another training partner, Clint. Clint has never met him either, and was contacted through PM on CriticalBench.com. As I was e-mailing with the guy, I asked a few questions that began to strike me as odd to ask a guy who wants to train with you.

  • "Is he married, and does he have kids?"
  • "Where does he work?"
  • ...and a few other personal questions that really didn’t have anything to do with training.

As I proof-read my e-mail, the following train of thought began:

What are proper questions to ask a possible training partner? What do you want to know about a guy that you are thinking about allowing into a very tight group of friends and people you trust? Do these questions differ from guys who own a commercial gym verses a guy who runs a private club?

As for the last question; I believe the questions can differ between the two types of owners. A commercial gym owner can allow a guy to come in and train at his place while getting to know him. Allowing a guy to come into your public gym does not automatically put him in the inner circle. A commercial gym owner has the ability to watch a guy and judge his work ethic, and to make a judgment as to whether or not he will be dependable. If he’s not, he can easily be kept from the inner circle, all the while, accepting his automatic debit withdrawal.

On the other hand, I have a very different situation. When I invite someone to join us, I am inviting him to my home. That requires a certain level of blind trust in and of itself. If I don’t like the guy’s work ethic, or if the guy isn't dependable, I’m forced to kick him out. That leaves me open to be called everything in the book on Facebook, MySpace, training logs, and whatever other social networking the guy wishes to employ. I am forced to trust the guy from the start, and force my team to do so as well. So what are reasonable questions for a private club owner to ask a possible training partner?

Obviously there are standard questions any coach should ask:

  • What is your lifting history?
  • Have you trained with teams before?
  • Are you interested in competition?
  • What’s your schedule, and can you be at team sessions?

Obviously you make sure he is willing to be a part of the team in all aspects: spotting, loading, traveling, and all things powerlifting.

I’m sure we can think of dozens more that would fit both the commercial gym teams and the private clubs, but what more can private club owners ask?

  • How old are you?
  • Are you married, and how many times?
  • Do you have kids, and by how many women?
  • Where do you work, what do you do, and how long have you been there?
  • What are you life goals?
  • What is your definition of loyalty?
  • What are your hobbies outside of lifting?

Maybe I am over-thinking the whole process, but my worries are born out of concerns for my family, property and team. These guys will be around my wife and kids, on my property, and could cause friction in a group of guys that are presently working well together. My concerns are also brought forth from experience. I have operated a team of guys since 2003. I have seen dozens of guys come and go. Many I would have been happy to keep who left entirely on their own, and a few that were asked to leave. Some were a liability on many levels. Some were dangerous and not trustworthy as spotters and loaders. One that comes to mind missed spots, misloaded, and even purposely benched a bar that he knew was loaded unevenly. What could he have been thinking? I have had several who were completely void of the ability to learn. Meet after meet with no improvement in lifts or form. It’s a reflection on the team as a whole.

My favorite quote is, “I totally agree, but...” But what? You’re lifting the same amount of weight as two years ago, why not try it our way for once? I love the guys who come for months to train for a meet, and can’t be found when others on the team are training for one.

Here’s another favorite quote, “Saturday mornings are my only day to sleep in.” This guy worked four 10’s. I have no time for these kinds of training partners. They are a waste of time and effort, so I hope to avoid them upfront. Ask the questions that might reveal who they are before they ever walk through the door. I used to think quantity was better than quality, but I was wrong. My thinking was that if I had enough partners I could ignore the bad ones. What I've learned is that the bad ones cause discord and unrest among the faithful. This is why I ask the personal questions. I have a lot to lose if the wrong partners come in. Every private club owner does. So if you’re a private gym owner, or operate a private team of guys, don’t be afraid to be nosey when it comes to new guys. Find out who they are first. Have them meet the team for lunch, or something outside the gym to learn if the guy can mesh well with your core members. I promise you will save yourself a few headaches.

I’m open for ideas that I didn’t explore here. Share some experiences if you have any that are relevant to new members.

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