Pain and frustration.
How it feels to take a look back at this years national championships.

Although the training leading up to nationals had been going absolutely great, I managed to get sick leading up to nationals. I had managed to drop about 8 lbs during the 2 weeks leading up to it. part of this was initially just eating better to make weight easier, but being sick killed my appetite. I'm not a fan of excuses, but quite frankly, I feel like my body let me down. I feel like months of training and mental preparation  were wasted. There was just no amount of mental will that could give me the total I wanted. I went 3/9 on my lifts.
So I left with over 40kgs less than the total I wanted.

Pain and frustration.

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Squat

Warm ups felt fine for squats. We ended up being really rushed on my last few sets because the flight before me moved quicker than expected. I ended up going straight from my last warm up set, straight to the platform for my first attempt.

First - 135kg 

Didn't feel as strong as this weight would usually feel, but I have a hard time feeling my exertion rate on squats. We stuck to the plan for my second.

Second- 142.5kg

No pop at all out of the hole, nothing in me to grind through it.

Third- 142.5kg

More pop out of the hole this time, but again nothing in me to finish through. My planned third was 147.5 so I lost 7.5 kg on the squat alone. This was especially frustrating since my squats have been feeling stronger than ever in the past few months. I tell myself at this point I'm going to have a great bench day.

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Bench

Warm ups felt great and fast, no issues at all, and no rushing on my last few warm ups thankfully.

First - 90 kg

Never have I ever missed an opening attempt before this. My wrist gave out on me as I was holding the bar on my chest and rolled forward. This has never happened to me before, and especially with a weight this light for me, this was weird.

Second - 90kg

I envisioned myself benching 90kg as I have done many, many times before. of course it felt like butter, making me hate myself for missing that first attempt.

Third - 95kg

This was my planned second attempt, I knew I needed to add to my total, and this would break my record and give me some sort of positive note to leave with. Unfortunately again, I just wasn't strong today.

 

Deadlift

I was focusing on speed in the warm up room. Things were feeling OK, but I was trying to forget the fact that I was tired and focusing on just finishing this meet. Looking back, I had my feet a bit too wide, something I wish I had noticed and could have adjusted

First - 137.5kg

Second - 147.5kg

Third -  147.5kg