I just came back home from visiting my grandfather and my father. They live about 15 minutes away from me, and they live one street away from one another.

My grandfather is an uneducated, retired steel worker. He's worked his ass off for everything he's earned in his life, which I attribute some of work ethic to. But he also has two sons that don't talk to him and one daughter that has since passed. I'm his only grandchild and he's spoiled me with toys since I could walk. But don't expect any love coming from this man. I don't ever remember him hugging me. So long story short, I can understand in some ways why his sons don't make the effort to spend time with him.

Now my father and I do help him with stuff around the house, which is our obligation I suppose. But there is never a 'thanks for helping,' or 'thanks for stopping by.' If I tell him I MIGHT be over on Saturday but end up not being able to make it, he berates me when I walk in the door. "Where the hell you been? You said you'd be here. That's bullshit."

I can't figure out what drives my grandfather to keep living. Most of his days he sits around worrying about dying or worrying about not being able to get around like he used to. Keep in mind he's 85 years old, still drives, and can walk just fine.

I guess the moral of the story: Be thankful for what you have. And don't push those that love you away from them.  Life is too short- live in the present and do whatever the fuck makes you happy.

Then I stopped by to see my dad. He called me a couple months ago (we don't really talk) asking for help with something. I didn't return his call. I figured I would just see him whenever it was convenient for me, much like he does to me.

My father isn't a bad person, but I wouldn't trust him to hold onto a dollar bill for me. This is a man that played football at Princeton after scoring a 1580/1600 on his SAT's. But he is manic/depressive and bipolar in addition to having a terrible gambling problem.  He's caused my mom a lot of grief and I know it's left some marks on me- a lot of which have come to light over this last year.  I'd like to think he's learned some lessons along the way in his life, but actions speak louder than words and I can't say I believe anything he tells me.

I digress- I stopped to see him and it was nice just to have a conversation with my dad again. It had been about six months since I had seen him. And I love the man, but I don't trust him. I wish him the best, but I have to know that I can't be his safety net. He has a huge heart, but he has a problem that he's never addressed. It's frustrating, but I'm thankful that he's still around and we can have some type of relationship.

Moral of the story- Forgive and forget (maybe). And you can't pick family so find a way to make it work in whatever capacity that may be.

Happy Thanksgiving all!