Re-posted from my Archived Log
Impromptu Bonding Training....Bullies, Butt Kickings & Girls
Last week I made a post on FB about bullying. It feels like legit bullying situations are losing focus along with the serious attention they deserve to situations that are related more to kids not being equipped to handle conflict. The term "bully" is a word people automatically jump to as a blanket statement for any type of situation that involves conflict. Today I realized how ironic that post was.
So today The Girl got into the car after school and had a tearful confession for me. It is important to note that The Girl NEVER has conflict with people. She truly is a kind and sweet soul, everyone loves her, and she's just "nice" to the point where I scratch my head wondering how she turned out like that. I was in shock to hear her confession of getting into a fight with a boy at school today.
Her version of events are that the boy was calling her names and threw a big rock at her and hit her in the shoulder. She got mad he was calling her names, she chased him down on the playground, threw a rock at him and then kicked him. Kids on the playground rallied around her, the boy ended up in tears and went and told on her.
I haven't heard from school yet, although I hear everyone (except her) got called into the principal's office. She has only ever been in the principal's office to get her birthday pencil so in her mind this is a HUGE deal. She is terrified about the possibility of going to see the principal and that the principal might think negatively of The Girl. As a teacher I think this is more of a spring is here, boy/girl issue than she might be letting on.
She was nervous she let us down, worried The Big Guy would be mad and for getting in trouble by the principal. I assured her everything was fine and there are some lessons to be learned. This exchange with The Big Guy gave me a few chuckles.
So I decided to take her out and train together to get more information, make sure she is ok, that the situation is over and if she gets called into the principal tomorrow she needs to tell the truth because everyone has already been called in so at this point there is a good understanding of what happened. Training with her would give us an opportunity to "talk" without it looking like I was digging.
I found one of The Boy's old programs and decided to give it a go with her.
Man, I have some work to do. My knee was about to split wide open from the burpees but dang it, I held in there with her. I finished up with ten minutes on the treadmill.
The things we discussed while working out....
1. The chances of the boy messing with her and calling her names again is pretty small.
2. If there is a consequence tomorrow accept it with her head held high. She learned a valuable lesson about standing up for herself and is learning how to identify and stick with her own personal boundaries for how others should treat her.
You all know I ALWAYS end these kinds of situations with AWESOME parenting advice. My words of wisdom were,
"Suck it up and accept responsibility. Keep your chin up. Things could always be worse.
Like for instance, you could be the fifth grade boy who messed with a girl, got chased down and beat up by her and went crying to tell on her. Socially he's probably not going to move past this situation for a long time to come."
Case Of A Mean Person, Not A Bully,