"He who has a why to live for, can get through almost any how"
Things have been hard lately. Mentally, emotionally, and therefore-- physically. As corny as it sounds, mind, body, and soul are all connected, and when I neglect one-- the others all seem to suffer as well.
I've dealt with anxiety and depression pretty much my whole life, and it's something I worked really hard (at one point in my life) to get under control. Unfortunately (as I've mentioned in other posts-- you'd think I'd get it through my thick skull... or maybe it's my thick hair that's the problem?)--when life gets hard(er), all that work goes out the window. Usually, I can get back on track pretty quickly but for some reason these past few months I've failed to do the hard work and instead resorted to some unhealthy habits that just dug me into a deeper darker anxiety ridden hole.
This clearly wasn't a conscious choice. Nobody thinks to themselves, "oh yeah-- this habit is probably gonna make things worse for me in the long run, let's do it!", but things happen. We're human, and recently I've realized I'm super-human. Not in the super power, larger than life kind of way, but rather-- influenced and affected by challenges and obstacles in my life. Ignoring emotional stressors, and locking negative feelings in a box buried deep inside-- not the best way to deal with emotional issues (a lesson I've learned multiple times at various points in my life, and yet...here we are).
This quote is something I've continually come back to recently, and it seems to help re-frame challenging times in a way that pulls me out of the vicious cycle of self-doubt, overwhelm, and honestly self-pity.
Everything I do in life should have a "why" attached to it. Otherwise, I wouldn't be wasting my time on it. So when things get hard, one thing I'm doing to build resilience is asking the question: Why are you doing this?
If I can remind myself of the "why"-- I'm confident I can get through any "how".
I recognize that this post is pretty vague and that it'd be worthwhile to talk about some of the challenges I'm currently facing. However, I'm simply not ready. Not because I'm scared of being vulnerable in this space (although being open and vulnerable is definitely a learned skill for me, rather than something that ever came naturally), but because I simply need more time to sit with my thoughts before I transpose them into words. There's a level of commitment that comes along with putting things in writing, at least in my own personal worldview.
With that said, for everyone out there going through a hard time-- feeling like you took off more than you can chew, or feel like you've been killing yourself over some goal or task, try re-locating your reason for "why" you're committing to the grind in the first place. If it's a good enough reason, I believe you'll find and/or get through the particular "how's".
--Mick