"...By rejecting the belief that every down in life leads us only further downward [or is to be considered a set back], we give ourselves the greatest power possible: the ability to move up not DESPITE the setbacks, but BECAUSE of them."

Here's an example of common thinking...When heading to war soldiers are often told by psychologists that they might return with PTSD or they might return 'normal.' Maybe yes and maybe no. But here's a guarantee- they've been given a mental map with only two options. PTSD is certainly serious and a real outcome of war for many, which makes the whole 'normal' thing a goal for our veterans. But there is research suggesting a third option or path: Post-Traumatic Growth.

You've heard, 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' Well this has now been confirmed by science. If  you want the details they are outlined in this chapter, but to sum it up: "...the people who can most successfully get themselves up off the mat are those who define themselves not by what has happened to them, but by what they can make out of what has happened."

To put it in a business perspective, as someone looking to hire a manager would you prefer candidate A with a spotless resume or candidate B with multiple business failures? Assuming all other factors are equal, candidate B is likely your best bet. Failure is not 'radioactive,' as Achor puts it.

Steve Goggins is a man who has accomplished as much or more than any of the hall of fame powerlifters out there. His advice is second to none and his knowledge and training methods are tried and true. So when Steve gives me advice...I listen. But I also don't dive in head first and give him full reins, which naturally gets under his skin. Like Steve did throughout his career, I want to figure it out on my own. When I hit a roadblock, I go to him and Dave for advice. It has worked thus far so I'll stick the course. My point...

"In one experiment where 90 people went through a software training program, half were taught to prevent errors from occurring, while the other half were guided into mistakes during training. And lo and behold, the group encouraged to make errors not only exhibited greater feelings of self efficacy, but because they had learned to figure their own way out of mistakes, they were also far faster and more accurate in how they used the software later on."

I was certainly the former through most of my academic and professional life. I feared mistakes. They gave me anxiety. So I was hired on at Baker Hughes. Field sales. OK...I got this...

"Most professionals face daily setbacks, but the life of a salesman is, almost by definition, fraught with failure and rejection."

Fast forward through a year or so of frustrations, failures, and missed opportunities, and I was a new man. There was nothing left to fear. I'd been told to 'get the hell off location' more times than I could count. I was told no ten times more than I was told yes. But it made me better. And five years later I'm our best office account manager. You can't be afraid to dance, and you can't wait for the right music. FIGURE THAT SHIT OUT NOW.

The moral of the story...

The human "...fear of consequences is always worse than the consequences themselves. [Just knowing that] can help us move toward a more optimistic interpretation of the downs we will inevitably face. So the next time you catch yourself feeling hopeless--or helpless-- about some snag in your career, some frustration at your job, or some disappointment in your personal life, remember that there is always a Third Path upwards--your only task is to find it."