This is the last chapter of this book. Part 3 wraps it up and I will post that shortly. To me, principle #7 hit home the hardest. Maybe because it matched up to what I was experiencing in my personal life at the time, maybe because it didn't come so naturally to me until late, or maybe I always 'got it' but fought to use, thinking I was tough enough and didn't need help.
Some training for local fire departments includes the fire maze. Exactly what it sounds like- a maze that is on fire but also unnavigable and blinding. From the book-
"There is a dummy trapped in the middle of the maze.
Your goal is to rescue him as quickly as possible. In a real fire in a strange home, it is exceedingly easy to get lost and disoriented. The only way to avoid this is to keep in constant contact with the wall.
You will enter the building in teams of two, holding on to each other, so one of you can hold onto the wall, while the other sweeps the floor for the dummy.
This task would be nearly impossible alone, but working with a partner, it can be done fairly easily."
The rookies were told the task should take less than ten minutes and they were equipped with one hour's worth of oxygen. The veterans fling open the doors and the two pairs of rookies are off. Maybe 15 minutes into the 'rescue' their alarms start going off- they running out of oxygen. And of course they all panic and let go of each other. Maybe another 5-10min goes by and the veterans go in and pull the rookies out. Surprise! There was no dummy to be rescued. Just four dummies the veterans had to pull out of the maze. And the veterans found all of the rookies alone (not holding onto their partner, one of which was supposed to be touching a wall to guide them in or out) and crawling on the ground.
According to Achor, "At the time, I remember thinking that this was a particularly cruel trick. But years later, I'm impressed at how memorably the Fire Maze training instilled in me the lesson that is at the heart of Principle 7--that when we encounter an unexpected challenge or treat, the only way to save ourselves is to hold on tight to the people around us and not leg go."
Let me relate this to my current situation through two sets of perspectives...
I lost my job about a month ago- again the details of which I'll spare for another time. Work was getting hairy as it were, so I already had some ideas in mind for what I wanted to do. But having a plan and executing that plan under duress are two wildly different animals. Cue the 'everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth' phrase. I've always wanted to own my own business- who hasn't? Just how I would do it I did not know. I'm learning more and more everyday from mentors and friends and I have a much clearer picture right now than I did a couple months ago. But the plan is to start my own business in a year or two. So what was I supposed to do in that time to pay my mortgage and put food on the table?
Option 1: Hunker down and work my ass off.
Option 2: Reach out to everyone in my circle and 'hang on.'
I think option 1 is the standard tough guy response. I got this. I'm bigger than this. And I think option 2 can feel like begging or relying on someone else, even though it shouldn't.
I started with family. Then moved on to a couple close business friends. Then my mentors. Then some other close contacts that I met through my previous vocation.
Family and close friends- We talked about future plans. What are my options? Who can I reach out to immediately if I need work?
Mentors- Talked about long term plans. How do I set myself up, today, to reach those down the road?
Work contacts- I talked to four of them. Two contacted me first asking me if I wanted a job. Two more I contacted and just caught up with. One, named John Casey, is one of the best presenters, speakers, and leadership developers I've ever had the pleasure of talking to. I actually called him to get some personal information from him- a list of family values, HPA's (high payoff activities), and some other tools he uses to make himself a better friend and father. And naturally I told him what happened to me at work and without hesitation he said if you need anything don't hesitate to ask. I can find you a position in a heartbeat.
What am I trying to say here? Like a relationship- if you set out to find the right one, it will end in misery 100% of the time. If you set out to be the right one, you're success rate just swung significantly in the opposite direction, for the better.
I set out to work on myself. How do I prepare myself for the upcoming opportunities I will face? By reaching out into my circle and asking for help. Holding on tight.
Now the other perspective- Yessie has moved twice in the past 6-8 months give or take. When she was looking for jobs, a frustrating process when you don't know the lay of the land, she kind of reached out but then immediately pulled back into her shell after having one or two opportunities fall through. It's a natural reaction. I would have done the same at her age in her position. After being in Pittsburgh a little longer, she got comfortable with where she was mentally, and opened up to some fresh perspectives. And she should be starting two jobs in the next couple of weeks. I'm proud of her for sticking with the plan. But I see that stubbornness she brings to the table- and it's good sometimes- but in the case of job hunting it can be very debilitating.
So why do people matter? Why do our relationships matter?
"That's because when we have a community of people we can count on--spouse, family, friends, colleagues--we multiply our emotional, intellectual, and physical resources."
I'll leave you with this example. And it angers me in some ways that this is considered extraordinary. To me it's just being a good person...
"The best leaders already know this, and they go out of their way to make employees feel cared for. When a fire destroyed the Malden Mills factory in a small town in Mass., CEO Aaron Feuerstein announced that he would continue to pay the salaries of all 3,000 workers who were suddenly without a job. In their book 'In Good Company,' Don Cohen and Laurence Prusak discuss how much this one action shocked the American public. Feuerstein was heralded as a selfless hero, even invited to the White House. But as the authors point out, 'that the public and business world would consider Feuerstein's action so extraordinary and apparently 'unbusinesslike' suggests that many people do not yet understand the value of social capital in organizations...the money he spent was an investment in the future of his business."