In today’s log I am excited to bring you Old Man Conjugate: Don’t do anything stupid. It sounds easy, but it is not. At least for me. I am in the running for King of Stupid, but I am trying to abdicate the throne. 

I am 9 weeks out from Total Hip Replacement and I am pain free. I have an almost full range of movement and progress is visible every day. I believe this is for a few reasons including doing all of my physical therapy exercises as prescribed, eating well, sleeping 8 hours, and maybe most of all:

I made a pledge to myself to come back slow and low. To make sure that my movement is proper and not worry about how much weight I am lifting.

And, to follow the Old Man Conjugate Rule- Don’t do anything stupid.

Now, this might sound easy, but I have a history of being an idiot in the gym. You know miss a lift and then add a 45 to each side for the next one; maybe hit it, maybe get stapled. Or jump into some ridiculous gym challenge that is going on and tear a bicep.

Yes that has happened.

Could be that something hurts and instead of training around it, I’d add tighter briefs, or wrap it or whatever and injure it more. You know, being stupid.  

Well, before the hip surgery I made a pact with myself to go slow and low like I said. I wanted to make sure that the recovery was not hindered, impaired or fucked by desire to train like I was 25 again. I said that I would treat myself like a client.

shop ss yoke bar

Address the needs, follow the guidance of those higher up the chain than me (My surgeon and my PT’s), stay on track to achieve my current goals, and regain the ability to tie my own shoes without needing a second surgery because I was stupid. All of this seems perfectly reasonable right?

Well, let me tell you; it’s not easy.

But I am playing the long game.

Old Man Conjugate, total hip replacement, don't do anything stupid

I’m doing my best to stay laser focused on my current goals of:

  • Regain normal mobility in the hip
  • Correct the bilateral strength deficit leg to leg
  • Become nimble again
  • Regain strength: but not as a lifter-I’ll explain in a minute
  • Increase grip strength and body weight exercise ability
  • BE UNKILLABLE-the primary goal

I think the only ones that need explanation are the last three.

So here I go:    

Regain strength:

I need to be strong, but I don’t need to squat 1000 pounds. But, I do need to be able to squat 315 for a shitload of reps, or maybe even 405 for 10 or 12. I need to be strong(er) and less out of breath than 99% of the population. I just don’t need to win a meet at this point in my life, maybe that will change!

Increase grip strength and body weight exercise ability:

Aside from the research that shows people with above average grip strength live longer, having a strong grip is simply useful. And cool.

The older I get, the more I value body weight exercises like pushups, dips, pullups, lunges, GHR’s and cartoon tricks on the TRX. Being able to handle the weight of your own body may save your life, or someone else’s.  

Old Man Conjugate, total hip replacement, don't do anything stupid


Should need no explanation, but it may so…..

I want to be able to move, climb, pull, push, shoot, duck, and more without getting aches, pains or out of breath.

Like a fart ninja.  

Fart ninjas are silent, but deadly.


I am on a loose plan and it is working.

9 weeks in I have only done one semi stupid thing. I jumped in a gym challenge with Cody and Mike two weeks ago and did a grip challenge. Nothing broke, but I violated my own pact with myself. That’s the first and last time. Well, maybe two.

I took Brandy on a 5 mile walk last Sunday and a 4 mile walk Monday.

Brandy, she's a fine girl

That may have been a bit much to start out of the gate with.

The doc and the PT’s say I am clear to do whatever I want. I’m guessing they don’t know me. So, I’ll continue doing what I am doing.

Hopefully in another 9 weeks I’ll be reporting back with even better news.

Did you miss last week’s log?

Read it here.

My Trip to EliteFTS
My Trip to EliteFTS



Vincere vel mori

C.J. Murphy

March 30, 2023

Total Performance Sports