1 You spend more time reading about programs than doing them
2 You dog your assistance work
3 Your idea of a protein-packed meal is a box of fish sticks
4 Your squat is higher than Joe Rogan
5 Your pull-ups look like a grand mal seizure
6 You calculate your band and chain weights as your actual max
7 You think your version of Wendler’s 5/3/1 is better than his
8 You are afraid of getting too bulky
9 You spend more time on mobility than in the power rack
10 You don’t have a Dave Tate original curl rack attachment
11 You’re afraid using a belt will weaken your core
12 You haven’t perfected your post-workout ratio of carbs to amino acids
13 You think Mountaindog is a new series on the National Geographic channel
14 You actually worry about what kind of powerlifting gear other people wear
15 You take seven minutes between sets and have zero gpp
16 Your squat shoes don’t have the proper sized heel
17 The right song wasn’t playing while you were maxing out
18 Not enough pre-workout drink
19 It took you more time to pick out your gym outfit than train
20 You think every lifter who is stronger than you is on drugs “or” more drugs than you
