The term “hater” has entered the social lexicon in the last five years, and it has become something of a cultural phenomena to discuss constantly. People brag and boast about how much people apparently “hate” on them all the time.
“Fuck that haters!!” is attached to everything from photos to status updates to blog posts to videos and tweets. People with haters are constantly facing “hateversity” every time they seem to walk out their doors. Observing all this, I'm struck by two things more often than not and they are questions more than anything else. The first is "Why do people care that anyone randomly 'hates' on them in the first place?" The second is, if so many people genuinely despise you, maybe you're the terrible person.
Am I a hater for discussing how pointless the “hater” concept is? Maybe. Maybe not. It's entirely possible I’ll be blasted in the comments for this.
The Emptiness of “Hating”
With those things said, the very concept of and itself is a hollow one: “I have haters.”
Ninety-nine times out of 100, this statement isn't based on daily life. No one is running up to anyone when they wake up in the morning and flinging insults. Instead, this “hatred” is people having their egos bruised by mostly random commentary and then taking it personally.
Aside from the sheer emotional waste of energy that’s spent on this, it speaks to a larger concept of people falsely valuing being criticized:
“I take pride in how many people I can get to despise me.”
Is someone with such an attitude a person to admire or respect? I'd say no.
And even good people can get caught into the trap of wanting to “take on their haters” and it's all a futile endeavor. I've been insulted many times over since I started writing two years ago. I've yet to ever go on a tangent of “hating” back at anyone who’s done so. Why haven’t I? Because hating means nothing. It's an angry person on the opposite side of the screen ruining the quality of his or her own life by having his or her own ego and sensibilities offended.
Is it my role in life to empower another person's disgust? Is that worth even thinking about in the first place? Again, I'd say no, and I have yet to see anything that would suggest otherwise.
The best “defense” one can have to such things is to invalidate them completely by having them mean nothing. That’s what “hate” is in the current world. It's dead words and dead insults by people whose only offering to the world at large is anger and rage. Such people are throwing knives into the wind, and the wind will throw it back at them. There isn't any point in playing catch with them. Let their own unhappiness be their own ends.
You Receive What You Put Forth
Speaking to the people who feel that they are “hated” on, do you believe that wasting time trying to spit venom back will undo your critiques? If we could agree that we “get what we give,” then putting forth your own hatred in the world is not going to bring back anything good. Your intentions might feel warranted, but venom is venom all the same. Poison can't dilute poison. It just makes it stronger. We have far better and more worthwhile things to share with people than ferreting out the small minds that are attempting to be malicious.
I recently had a great conversation with some friends on Facebook. One man in particular said something that resonated powerfully with me:
“How about we all act like the gracious human beings that we are? Thankful to be able to educate. Humans [who] are thankful for the relationships that we have made, will make and continue to grow. How about we act like humans [who] don’t think they invented something so extraordinary that we can make superheroes. Or how about humans [who] show compassion for family, others and those we don’t know about. Because I'm just about fucking tired of the fake bullshit, jealousy, crap, shit talking, and absolute infant-like behavior that I see on media forums. I like this idea best.” — Scott Paltos
I don’t normally share quotes, but Scott hit upon so many points that I had to offer this. People can be in a position to have so much to offer the world, with so many opportunities and people to be grateful for. But they are made bitter and ungrateful because of immature comments or feedback or they hear through the grapevine some shit talking that someone supposedly said. Is that all it really takes to ruin your quality of life?
What would you rather engage in? Gratitude and abundance? Or anger and feeling vile toward people you’ve never actually met? What would be more meaningful to live?
I would say the former and not the latter. A life filled with people and appreciation and growth—that means a lot. That means something. And the “hate”? Hate means nothing...