My Crappy Diet

TAGS: crappy diet, portion control, lose weight, atkins, Jeff Guller, weight gain, weight loss, low carb, Nutrition

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Before getting into the subject of this article, let me say that I am sorely disappointed in this nation's response to COVID-19. I thought when we began to shelter in place in March, that this would be behind us by now. It seems that every other country has responded appropriately but us. What the hell is wrong with us? As of this writing, there are 3.2 million cases in the US, over 137,000 dead, and over 70,000 cases reported. I miss doing things, especially going to the gym. Meets that are scheduled months from now may not take place or be well attended. How did disease and the things that might help to control or prevent it become a political issue? The virus doesn't give a shit about red or blue. It will kick your ass no matter your political preference. My generation is particularly at risk, especially those of us with a pre-existing condition. We are smart! We have to use those smarts to get this behind us as quickly as possible so our economy can flourish, our kids can go back to school, and sports and powerlifting meets can proceed.


RECENT: Coping with COVID-19


Proceeding to the subject of this article, nutrition is a really difficult topic for me. If there were a word that is the opposite of nutrition, I could discuss it like an expert. I don't know how to count macros or how many calories a specific food contains. I know you should not eat crap or too much of anything. I have been a fat boy all of my life and have struggled mightily to be less fat. That is a term coined by my powerlifting hero and diet guru Vincent Dizenzo and one that I will use throughout this article. My struggles have often been successful, but sometimes, not. I was trying to be less fat at the early age of ten.

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I went up and down throughout school, but when I graduated from college, I weighed 260 pounds at 5'6". DAMN! One day in May of 1963, I went to a buffet with my father (270 pounds) and his friend Red (6'4" at 340 pounds). I challenged Red to a bet of who could lose the most weight by July 4th. I narrowly won that bet and kept going. By the time I started law school in September, I had weighed 160 pounds! There were last year's classmates who didn't know who I was. Because I didn't know what I was doing, I was diagnosed as anemic and vitamin deficient. I kept that less fat profile for a while, but seven years later, when my daughter was born, I was heavy again. I tried Weight Watchers twice, the Duke Rice Diet, and Atkins. All the diets worked. It's the person that doesn't do the work that's the problem.

About twelve years ago, I found myself way overweight AGAIN weighing 247 pounds, and I'm not as tall as I was. With a doctor's help, drugs, and vitamin D shots weekly, I got to 166 pounds in seven months. That was my last diet and the subject of an article a few years ago. The 166 pounds was never realistic, and I quickly gained about eight pounds. I began competing in powerlifting in the 181-pound class and was able to stay there until open-heart surgery. Though I have moved up a weight class, I have been struggling to get back to the 181's, which I intend to do.

My diet or way of eating could be closely described as KETO. I try not to eat any carbs. I know, however, that the fruit and few veggies I eat are carbs. I try not to eat much fat, but I cook with butter and realize that the eggs, meat, chicken, and fish I eat contain fat. I eat one of three breakfasts:

  • Three eggs: Fried, omelet, scrambled, poached or boiled
  • Pancake (recipe to follow)
  • Oatmeal, protein, fruit mixture (recipe to follow)

My pancake is a variation of a recipe I saw online that called for two eggs, a scoop of protein, and a little baking powder. My modification is three eggs, one scoop of protein powder, and one-fourth cup of raw oatmeal. I mix all of that thoroughly, then add some fruit, i.e., banana, blueberry, raisin, or any combination thereof. I cook that in a pan coated with melted butter for about three to four minutes per side. I top it with a little honey or sugar-free syrup.

My oatmeal mixture is a half-cup of raw oatmeal, one scoop of protein powder, fruit as described above, and a protein drink like Atkins to wet the mixture to the preferred consistency.

I try to skip lunch by taking a nap, but all too often, I snack on half of a hamburger, half a piece of chicken, or a portion of a protein bar. I have tried most of the protein bars on the market, and I love them all. I have no idea whether they contain good protein or way too much sugar, but I love them. My previous favorite was Builders Bars, but now I'm hooked on Gatorade protein bars. Another of my favorites is low calorie, high protein ice cream. Halo Top seems to be the most popular, but there are many others, and I love them all.

My problem is that I would rather eat protein bars and ice cream rather than proper meals, and some days I do. I also have a big problem with getting up at night and going to the kitchen. There the Halo Top and protein bars abound. My other peccadillo is frozen Cool Whip Lite Whipped Topping mixed with Halo Top; it's a delicacy, or I can eat it out of the container. I know better, I just don't always do better.

After the last diet 12 years ago, I have not had to do a big diet again, nor do I intend to. However, as a lifetime fat boy, I always want to be less fat—10 pounds or so. It's a life long thing, but I'll never be fat, fat again. I have indeed changed my lifestyle and eating habits. I don't always do it right, but I never let it get out of hand. My bastardized KETO diet has worked for me. As the old saying goes, do as I say, not as I do. Use a little common sense and listen to the real nutrition experts here on elitefts.

Be smart, stay safe.

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