elitefts™ Pirate Hoodie

We might not be pirates, but it feels good to be big.



Typically ships in 1 business day.


A few of Dave's favorite reasons for being big:

- I like having to think, “Is this really worth getting up for?” before doing anything.

- I like having to roll off the bench press instead of sitting up.

- I like the feeling of having my head filling with pressure, turning bright red, and not being able to breathe. And this is just from tying my shoes. I find it best to take a big breath of air, drop as fast as I can, and speed tie. I can usually get the job done in four to five reps.

- I like feeling hot and sweaty when sitting in an air conditioned room with my shirt off and a fan blowing on me. This is how I spend most days at work!

- I like waking up in the middle of the night with my hands numb. Gives me a chance to eat more food.

7.75 oz. 50% cotton/50% polyester, pill-resistant air jet-spun yarn, double-lined hood with matching drawstring, double needle stitching throughout, set-in sleeves. 1x1 rib knit cuff and waistband with Lycra

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