1. You use gym equipment as your personal locker room. I don’t want to have to move your shit to bench. If you’re too lazy to pick it up off the floor, at least put it on the calf raise. No one really wants to use that anyway.
  2. You reek. Cue strangled gasps for air…
  3. You give unsolicited advice — and it’s bad. No, I don’t need to be doing single-leg squats on a balance ball to fix my flat feet.
  4. You grunt. After every rep. I promise, the 25-pound dumbbells are not killing you. Stop acting like they are.
  5. You don’t put your weights back. Everyone knows this is wrong, and you just do it anyway. If you’re really too weak to put your weights back, ask the girl on the treadmill for help.
  6. You hog the squat rack. Just because you’re not doing curls doesn’t mean it’s okay to monopolize the monolift for three hours while you do your 100 sets of 5 reps with 225. At least let the next guy work in.
  7. You won’t shut the f*%! up. I like to talk shop as much as anyone, but I need to get my second set in at some point this century.
  8. You’re more preoccupied with looking good on Instagram than actually lifting weights. Not that I’m ever guilty of this one myself…
  9. You get kicked out. If it happens even once, that’s pretty darn bad. If you keep getting kicked out of place you try to lift, it might be a sign that you shouldn’t be in a gym in the first place. Time for a garage setup, bro.

What to Do If You Are That Guy

Real talk: if you have a couple bad gym habits, it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person. It does mean that you could benefit from a little more self-awareness in the gym — and you could probably practice a little more respect there, too.

I know, I know — you’re not going to the gym to make friends. That’s totally fine (although there are a lot of benefits to having some gym buddies). The thing is, self-awareness and respect are characteristics that will help to make you a better lifter. After all, if you can’t tell your B.O. brings to mind images from The Walking Dead, then how are you going to notice the sometimes very subtle warning signs that you might be overreaching during a volume phase of training? What if you refuse to allow another lifter to work in with you on the rack — and it turns out he was the one guy in your gym who happened to have personal experience with a technique flaw you’ve been struggling to fix?

And remember, nobody’s perfect. If someone else’s refusal to re-rack his weights really gets on your nerves, either address that issue directly, calmly, and respectfully, or move the fuck on. Don’t silently bitch and moan to yourself about how much "that guy" sucks, or how much the gym sucks. That doesn’t help anyone, and it only hurts you.