None of us (parents of children on the spectrum) have forgotten how hard it was when first finding out, or trying to figure out, what was wrong. It’s hell and you feel like you're being pulled in many directions (and you are). You don’t know who to listen to, your support system seems like it just became unglued and you're lost – but fighting like hell for your child.
The problem is this fighting is NOT acceptance. The whole “not my kid” mentality has to go. We fight the label for many reasons. Many times it’s out of guilt. We feel guilty that this is our fault and, yes, others help us feel that way but it’s NOT our fault – it’s our responsibility.
The guilt we feel is stopping us from accepting our child has special needs and getting the help they need (services, IEP, etc.) We have to accept our children for who they are, not who we thought they would be. They are autistic and have special needs. Trust me, I know the fight. Its not easy to write this all these years later.
What I’m trying to say, and what I was reminded of so many times yesterday, is the guilt you feel is wrong! It’s not real! It's keeping your child away from the extra help they need, and early intervention can help.
Now if you let this false misplaced guilt win and you can’t accept the situation and circumstances you are in...
When your child doesn’t get the help they need and you realize years later that you were wrong.
THAT guilt is now on you! This may be harsh, but I’ll take that risk if it gets one parent to accept the label and that child gets the help they need now. I can live with that.
I must have read in 20 of my DMs, “I don’t know how you can say this but...”. Fact is, I don’t know if there is a tactful way to say it but I tried my best.
I feel as parents one of our main roles is to prepare our kids for life in the real world. Some of us do not know if our children will be independent or not (scares me too), but that doesn't excuse me from using every resource available to make it happen.
As parents we are not their friends, we are responsible for raising them to be the type of adults we all want to see in the world.
#autismawareness
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