Muscles Targeted: America's Tear Ducts

Have you ever had a really good friend start using drugs and see him deteriorate right before your eyes? You, his family, his friends all get together and try an intervention; something needs to be said to save his life.

This is how I now feel about Dave Tate.

There is so much wrong with this picture that I feel compelled, as a spokesperson for The Masses, to bring this issue to light. And more importantly, to Dave.

Now before I list all the Negative Energy that is brought forth by this picture, let me first give a glaring eye to the Internet Physique Nerds that will post this pic and comment on Dave's guns. While I recognize their mass and the fact that they may/may not have their own gravitational pull, it is no reason to celebrate. Don't encourage him people! Do you know Dave? Have you ever been to Westside and see Dave put on 6 layers of double ply suits/briefs and box squat? Have you never seen him at a meet, banging his head on the bar, sweating all over everything, back hair an uncontrollable sweater of strength and testosterone? Have you ever sat next to Dave on a plane for 3 hours with him covered in liniment from a morning squat workout? That's Dave Tate.

So in order to bring back Dave, we are going to have to issue some harsh statements. Let's examine the picture, shall we?

Use of Nano I-Pod/earphones even though he is training by himself with a very loud sound system at his disposal.

Tank Top Ringer

Plyo Box on which to set the med ball on so he doesn't have to bend down to pick it up. (Actually, this is more of the old Dave, than the new Dave).

His tan is actually a tan; not his bodyhair

Backwards hat is worn for style, not because he is trying to hide his wrap-around.

Trimmed goatee, not the hairy montage that most of us sport.

Hard to see, but there is a perfectly good rackable cambered squat bar on the ground...and not on his back.

And finally, he sent me this picture to post.

So that's all I have to say and I hope we all agree that something has to be done.