Finding true happiness is something that all of us desire. However, it appears that only a few actually achieve it. Success tends to be defined by material things by most — money, houses, cars, etc. Many who appear to be “successful” by the common definition tend to lack fulfillment. Those who lack fulfillment tend to be unhappy. These are three things that all go hand in hand, yet many of us fail to grasp them all at once. It is my opinion that in order to achieve true happiness, one must be successful and fulfilled. But the true meaning behind success and fulfillment seem to be blurred.
Why do some who have financial success feel unhappy? Why is financial success important to our happiness? Why doesn’t financial success also equate to fulfillment? I think the first step is to ask what being successful means to you. Is it money? The big house? A certain salary? A family? In your mind, what does success look like? Once you answer that question, ask yourself why that is important to you. Then ask if your lifestyle is aligned with the success you want to achieve. What changes need to be made in your life in order to accomplish that success?
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I do believe that it’s important to be financially successful. Money is a vehicle to freedom and means that we can pay our bills on time, provide for our loved ones, and create the lives we want for ourselves. When we feel trapped because we don’t have enough money to do the things we enjoy and are constantly stressed about paying the bills, it’s tough to be truly happy. I’m not saying that we need to be rich in order to be happy, but I do feel that we need enough money to live the life we envision for ourselves and our families. That number is going to be based on you and the lifestyle you wish to have.
However, there are many people who only prioritize money and are very unhappy. They neglect things they truly enjoy, like spending quality time with family and friends because they’re working all the time. Or they keep working in a job they hate because the pay is good, regardless of the fact that they are stressed out of their minds every day of their lives because they can’t stand the idea of spending another second at that dreadful job. They’re stressed out, hate what they do, and work for someone they hate even more. Living this way sure as hell won’t lead to happiness.
If you’re not making the money you want just yet, or can’t see a way out of the job you hate, I will tell you firsthand that it’s possible. I was broke, confused, and didn’t truly believe that I could make real money training people early on. So, I worked my ass off to get a job that I thought would be great for me. It offered a great salary, benefits, and all that jazz. I found out really early on that this wasn’t the gig for me. I was bored and working in a toxic environment every day. I knew that I had to get out of there. So, I set a goal, read plenty of books, hired coaches (which I didn’t have enough money for, by the way) sacrificed a lot of my social life, and built my business up to the point where I was ready to finally quit. It wasn’t easy by any means, and it took me four years. But I did it. I rolled the dice and quit a job that people called me crazy for leaving. It was the best decision I have ever made in my life.
You can make more money doing something you love, and you can leave the job you hate to do something better. It takes focus and a whole lot of work, but it’s absolutely possible.
But financial success isn’t the only type of success that’s important. I feel that being successful in achieving a goal is very beneficial to our overall happiness. Whenever we set a goal and work towards it, we develop more of a purpose. When we feel that we have a clear-cut purpose and take steps towards obtaining it, we then develop a sense of clarity. Clarity helps ease stress, which therefore helps us feel happy. It doesn’t matter if that goal is to make $40,000 a year or $10 million per year. The most important thing is that we make strides towards achieving that goal and make enough money to support ourselves, family, and lifestyle.
Fulfillment, on the other hand, comes when you help other people. That can come in the form of work, volunteering, or simply helping other people in your community. One of the most fulfilling things on this planet is to help people. If you can do that through your work, great. Otherwise, it’s important to spend some hours volunteering or making it a point to help at least one person every day in some small way. Even something like helping an old lady cross the street can be extremely rewarding. I also believe that being fulfilled relates to spending quality time with the people you love. Meaningful conversations are often neglected these days, unfortunately. So many people only communicate digitally, which I feel takes away from our existence as human beings.
When you are financially secure and fulfilled, I believe you’re on the path to true happiness. However, they are not the only things you need. I feel that, along with some financial security and fulfillment, you also need six variables to achieve true happiness.
Nutrition
The negative effects of sugar and flour on the brain have been proven over and over. However, they are still the majority of the make-up of most American diets. When your diet is made up of lean proteins, healthy fats, unprocessed carbohydrates, fruits, and vegetables, you will enhance the way you think, feel, and function. You’ll avoid the constant brain fog and feeling of lethargy all day. This all contributes to your overall happiness and well-being.
Exercise
Too many people don’t exercise at all. They don’t move enough, sit most of the day, and have no outlet for stress. This is the total opposite of how human beings are designed to function. We are designed to sprint, jump, lift heavy shit, and move for most of the day. I believe that without daily activity we cannot be our best selves. When you’re strong, active, healthy, and fit, you have way more confidence, energy, and are capable of accomplishing more.
Overcome Fear
This topic is something I am extremely passionate about. I know what it’s like to be shackled by fear. I grew up in a toxic environment and was very fearful when I was younger as a result. I was afraid of being embarrassed, afraid of making mistakes, even afraid of getting hurt. That fear resulted in anger because I tried to put up a front. In reality, I was just scared to death. In my mid-20s I made it a point to overcome my fears. As I began working on my personal development, I began realizing how a lot of my personal issues stemmed from fear from my childhood. So, I started to face that shit. I put myself in uncomfortable situations, disregarded the opinions of others, and did whatever the fuck I wanted to do (in the most productive ways possible).
Once I began taking on new challenges I noticed a change in myself. My business grew, I had more fun, and all of the sudden my life became more rewarding. I can’t stress enough the kind of impact facing my fears made in my life. It’s certainly not easy, and is something that I continue to work on every day of my life, but I’m better for it and I know that you will be too.
Everyone has fear, so don’t be ashamed of admitting it. Those who say they don’t have any fear are full of shit. The people who seem “fearless” are just those who felt that fear and faced it head on! Face your fear and you will be happier for it.
Fun
Having fun is also essential for your happiness. Most people don’t take time to block out fun shit on their schedule. If you’re not having fun then how the hell can you be totally happy? Schedule a pick-up basketball game, travel, learn a new skill, take a martial arts class, go to concerts and events — do shit that’s fun! If you think you’re too busy then you just aren’t good at managing your time. Take a look at how much TV and mindless bullshit you do each week. Cut that crap out and make it a point to start scheduling some fun shit.
Tribe/Community
Human beings are tribal creatures. We work better when we are surrounded by other like-minded individuals and work together to achieve a common goal. It’s in our DNA. When you are part of some kind of group and work together to solve a problem, the feeling is extremely rewarding. It’s crucial to who we are as human beings. I highly recommend the book Tribe by Sebastian Junger for more on the importance of this. Find your “tribe” and take a step closer to a rewarding life.
Sleep
Our society doesn’t sleep enough. When we sleep in the range of seven to nine hours per night, we wake up feeling refreshed and prepared for the challenges of the day to come. Get more sleep and you will feel better. Period.
I wrote this article based on my own personal experience and the experience of the people who I’ve worked with over the years. I was once in a dark place. I was unhealthy and unhappy. Once I dialed my shit in I started to feel better. In life, the good starts to pile up the same way the bad does if you let it. If you’re in a bad place right now I promise that there is a way out. But just like anything else in this world, achieving happiness takes work. You’re going to have to push through tough times, get up early, and make it a constant effort to work on you.
Set goals, work towards them, focus, move often, have fun, sleep more, spend more time with people you love, help people, face fear, eat well, travel, and find your “tribe." When you prioritize the important things, your life will get better, regardless of how far away true happiness may seem. Now get out there and live!
Justin- That means a lot, buddy. Thank you for everything!