The Beheading of the Angry Troll

TAGS: troll, marriage, spud, bartley

Wednesday of last week:

  • Cardio - one hour stepmill

Thursday thru Monday:

  • No cardio

Tuesday:

  • 45 minutes - stepper

Wednesday:

  • 10 laps sled

Thursday:

  • 1 hour stepmil

Friday:

  • 40 minutes stepmill

Thursday Training

Standing close grip pulldowns

  • 8 sets x 10

Lying on stability ball rear delts with kettlebells

  • 4kg x 20
  • 8kg x 10 x 3
  • 2 sets x 8 reps where the kettlebell started in front off the ground and moved them along floor until they were behind me then back to the start

Pec deck

  • 8 sets x 10 reps stretching the shoulder back as far as possible

Uni-trainer (double land mine) with one bar and did snatches overhead

  • Working up each set for 5 reps per arm x 8 sets

One arm rows with same set up

  • 6 x 8 per arm

The Beheading of the Angry Troll

Last week marked the final chapter in the saga of the three who said they would never marry. As many of you know, Keith (the angry troll), Donnie (Fatty - a very strong one by the way, oh many of you of the Donnie Flock) and of course me (Spudtacular), trained together for many many years at the Old Thompson Barbell and Compound. When we started we swore for all time we would never marry or be tied down by the wenches. "Ha..Ha..." say the women who always win, for they have the gold of which we are hypnotized and mezmorized for all eternity...

The first to fall was the Fat One who cursed himself early on with his tale of rags to riches to rags to strong old dude with a mohawk. Yes, I am jealous as he continues while I make comebacks only to get zippers from surgeries in return for my toils. He was the first to fall too. It lasted but a little while, as was stated at the lake on that smokin' ass hot July day in South Carolina,"I gave my all to powerlifting and now I give my all you." But powerlifting is a dirty whore whose vice is thrice as strong as this marriage could ever be. So it was done, and Bigun' was back with his one faithful, sweet bone crushing, tendon snappin and the complete muscle tearing love that is powerlifting.

Second, to fall was the Spud, who denied and denied and denied, at least early on he would ever do the deed. But, the race was long and the opponent was able with total tenacity to win this long fight for the Spud of Trojan lore. Like this great battle of many eons ago, it waged for years and years, almost ten to be exact. Again, the dirty whore that is powerlifting pounded the city walls of Spud until they could bear the weight of 1205 pounds no more. The Spud was no more, at least in the eyes of his thought-to-be-faithful powerlifting love, the whore. She cares no more he thought and so began the drag of evermore. Drag and drag...the Spud did for 10 long months while grazing on little more. Miles and steps for months on end until he reached the final date and his zen. There was nothing there, no flowers, no glory, no powerlifting whore dressed in polyester suits and briefs, just the lovely wife-to-be waiting as always.

So the final end has come, the beheading of the Angry Troll is done. Off to Bermuda we went last week. The cermony was sweet and nice as the sun settled on the Bermudian beach that night. The troll looking WAY WAY up into his beloved preying mantis eyes, his twitching and nervousness subside and pop, off his head slides. Many years ago when marriage was thought never to be, only jokes and powerlifing reigned supreme. Fought and fought he did, refusing to buy the ring that cost way more than three months of toil and work ever did. The Spud was asked to groom, but refused because of the tux to be worn. On the beach and no tux rental you will need, just some Tommy Bahama clothes will be all you'll need. So, 250 dollars later a tux would have be cheaper. What the hell, we never been to Bermuda was the cheer. Enjoy we did the days and nights we spent watching the stury of "furget bout it" and "ya all" unite. But as Momma said while rehearsing (and I swear I could hear Sweet Home Alambama playin somewhere), "Tha southhh shallll riz agin!"

So ends the same ole tale of three dudes who screamed never ever will we marry.

Seriously, it was a lot of fun and congrats to Keith and Erin for getting it done!

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