First off, I want to introduce this article with a few disclaimers.
- This article is designed to give some solid advice from a female perspective, but it is also designed to be a good laugh. So if the title alone of this article offends you, then now you know how women feel on a regular basis. There are tons of articles out there pointing out the million “mistakes” women make in the gym, so I decided to write one of my own…but with a twist of testosterone.
- If you have the slightest inkling that this article may offend you, proceed to mistake number 5. You’re probably that guy.
- This article was reviewed by many of my male personal trainers to ensure its accuracy. Straight from the horses’ mouth, my friends. Enjoy, and have a laugh!
1. Not Warming Up Properly
We’ve all seen it. Guy strolls in the gym and makes a bee line straight for the bench press. A fresh “warm-up set” with 225, gets pinned, strains his pec, and then proceeds to scream at the gym manager for their shitty bench equipment. Yes, logic would tell us it must have been the bench equipment. For the love of all things holy, just do a few warm up sets first. Nothing crazy, even pushups would suffice. Start with the bar and work your way up.
2. Unwillingness to Take Advice From Actual Experts
This one cracks me up, and yes of course, men and women make this mistake probably equally. We have two culprits here. The first: the guy who asks an actual expert for training advice only hoping that the expert is in agreement with what they already think. Otherwise, the advice goes out the window. The second: the guy who asks an actual expert for training advice, but then proceeds to follow a nonspecific training template they found in a magazine because, well…..no one knows. The cause for this kind of stupidity it still unknown.
3. Hitting on Girls Between Sets
You may argue that hitting on girls in between sets can be a form of active rest, or even GPP. It’s not. I assure you, the moment any girl makes eye contact with a guy at the gym, it is probably because she was searching for the water fountain. It is in fact, not a subtle sign she wants to talk to you. She doesn’t. Just check yourself out in the mirror. You know you love you best anyways.
4. Skipping Leg Day
No brainer here. Skipping leg day is a cardinal sin of weight training for a plethora of reasons. At first, skipping leg day seems innocent enough, until one day you wake up and you cannot distinguish your thighs from your calves. Avoid the point of no return, and commit to leg day on a weekly basis. I would suggest scheduling your leg day on Mondays, because everyone else is hitting chest and arms that day so the squat racks are guaranteed to be available. No excuses.
5. Curling in the Squat Rack
Speaking of the squat rack, notice how it is not called the “curling rack.” While there are many things you can do in a squat rack, mainly compound movements, curling should not be one of those movements. You can do bicep curls anywhere in the gym. Why would you pick such a specific place to do them? One in which is always in popular demand and actually serves multiple purposes. A little self-awareness can go a long way in this world.
6. “Training” Your Girlfriend
This one in particular drives me up the wall like no other. It is one thing to train with your girlfriend; the training part is what gets me. This usually takes place during the initial stages of dating, during the show-off stage perhaps. These training sessions usually involve heinous cues and really awkward “form correction.”
I am not sure what annoys me more, guys who go ham simply because their girlfriend is present or having their girlfriend lift the lightest weight possible as an ego boost or just general lack of consideration of her abilities? Both are equally as irritating. Do not be that guy. You do you, and let your girl do her. If she actually likes you, “training” her in the gym will not help your cause.
7. Giving Unsolicited Training Advice to Others
If I had a dollar for every time a guy approached me in the gym, in the middle of my set, and tried to “correct” my form or give me advice, I would have at least $500. Seriously, it is NOT your job to waltz around the gym “fixing” people or (what more typically happens) use it as a way to start conversation with a girl. Think of it like this. Do you really think this dating strategy is successful? It never works so I am not sure why guys insist on using a flirtation tactic that has a 0.00% success rate. You are setting yourself up for failure. Just do your thing and be on your merry way.
8. Sacrificing Form for Ego
If this is you, then you are likely a culprit of #1 as well. Unlike the ladies, men tend to overshoot their strength at first, while women tend to underestimate it. From a practicality standpoint, you can muscle through lift after lift for a while but eventually it will catch up to you. You will plateau, and your progress will stall out. Be patient, and focus on form first. This will not only help you get strong(er) in the long run as well as prevent injury, but you won’t always look like a complete douchebag. Win, win.
9. Squatting with Bumper Plates
Oh, the infamous bumper plate squat. Why squat 600 pounds when you can fill the bar with bumper plates to make it look like 600 pounds when in fact it is 315? I mean...why not?
10. Unnecessary Sound Effects
Last but definitely not least, the sound effects that leave a burning resonance in my ears for days. Are you in labor? Are you currently in a fist fight? Are you battling a bad case of the squirts? If you answered ‘no’ to any or all of those questions, then you need to pipe down. Lifting heavy and relieving controlled sounds of aggression is one thing, but you are not being stabbed to death. Get it together.
I hope at the very least you found this article entertaining, but in all seriousness…stop. Don’t do these things. You’re welcome.