Have you ever been asked a question or heard a statement that made you think or say, “WTF?!?
Having been involved in powerlifting and training since the age of 14, I've grown used many of the classics such as, "Dude, how much you pressin’?" I have to admit, however, that I've been out of the general population for some time now spending most of my time at work, at home and at the gym. With my kids now involved in many outside activities, I've been thrust back through the gates of hell into the general population, and I find myself saying WTF a lot lately.
I've been posting these on my Twitter and Facebook accounts as I’ve heard and seen them.
Here are some recent ones (with commentary):
"Hey dude, is that steroids or muscle?"
* WTF kind of question is that? I should have asked, “Is that skinny or crack?”
"Hey dude, you are HUGE. Do you work out or something?"
* Another WTF from the track today. The answer: or something.
"Dude, I have a cousin who’s as big as you are and benches like 900 or something."
* WTF? I also have a cousin who wears a belt like that and wishes he’d gotten his GED.
”Dude, I used to look like that before I got this big ass (rubs his stomach) beer gut."
* WTF? I had a big gut like yours before I got off my ass and stated doing some cardio and dieting.
WTF statement as I'm standing in the grocery line: "Dude, what do you eat to get so big?"
* I said, “Here's a clue,” and looked in my cart.
"Do you lift weights?"
* WTF?!? I now say that I used to years ago, but I stopped because I got this huge pump during my last workout and it never went away.
"You must workout all day long."
* This one always reminds me of an interview Arnold did with the Arnold Classic winner a few years back. Arnold said he used to train twice a day, seven days a week and asked Dexter Jackson how often he trains. Dexter said he trained about 4 hours a week. Arnold then asked about cardio, and Dexter said he really didn't do any. If you didn’t see this, you really missed out. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. At the end, Dexter said it was all due to Hydroxycut.
"Are you as strong as you look?"
* WTF? Actually, I'm much weaker than I look, but years ago I was much stronger than I looked. Still trying to figure this whole balance thing out.
"If you keep lifting all those weights you're gonna get hurt.”
* WTF! I guess I'm kind of stuck on this one, but I’m so deep in the hole that it is what it is.
"You know, box squatting will ruin your lower back."
* WTF? I'm glad you care so much about my training, because from the looks of you, you don't care so much about your own.
"How much do you bench?"
* WTF? I love to have fun with this one. I ask back.
Raw, Single Ply or Double Ply?
Tested or Not Tested?
One Board, Two Board, Three Board or Four Board?
Close Grip, Medium or Wide?
if you keep asking questions, they will finally give up.
"Hey, we gotta get the big dude out on the (fill in the blank - track, tennis court, soccer field, etc).
* WTF? This would be the like the announcer at a powerlifting meet saying, "Hey skinny dude with the nose and eye rings...Yeah, you with the studded belt and DEVO shirt. We need to get you up on the platform today and see what you can do!"
"Hey, there's plenty more food up there. Go get some more." Then they NEVER let it go and keep saying this over and over.
* WTF? It's not like I was already overeating ALL day long to begin with. I know within five minutes of being anywhere where A) The bathroom is and B) Where the food is. WTF!
Here are some others I received via Twitter, email and Facebook posts from other people.
I was talking to a guy about a fullback who was invited to the NFL Combine years ago. The conversation came around to the 225 reps test on the bench. I asked how many reps the kid had gotten, and the guy tells me, "He did so many that they told him to just stop."
Right, dude. WTF?
Oh, powerlifting...is that where they do this (person throws arms erratically over their head)?
At the commercial gym where I bench, guy asks me if another member is 'on' just because he can squat 5 plates.
Someone told me, "Tate squats deep." WTF? Everyone knows you're lucky if your hammies reach parallel.
I was dragging a sled and flipping a tire when a neighbor asked me if I was getting ready for tryouts for Survivor. WTF?
My WTF question of the day: just wrote directions on the board for my class and one kid asks, five minutes later, "What are we doing?"
At my gym, where most people play with pink dumbells, when I deadlift, they ask, "Doc, are you training for the Olympics?" WTF!
"I'm gonna start training with your program.... in 2 years."
"I used to lift that kind of weight when I was your age..."
"Aren't you younger than me?" WTF!!
I'm at a commercial gym now, and if I ever open my mouth to say anything other than "excuse me," I'll be trapped into listening to, "Back in the day I could lift more than that guy over there (insert random injury). I won't be making that mistake again." WTF?
I have perfect squat technique - ass to the floor. WTF!
"I have a buddy, who in high school used to lift about as much as you..."
* This one is VERY funny because it comes from someone that only (maybe) one or two people in the world can claim to lift as much as. WTF!
Why do you drink so much milk? If you drank less, you wouldn't have to spend so much time in the gym! WTF!
"If I took steroids I could look like that"
* This one comes from a lifetime drug free guy, and the guy who said it is taking a gram a week. WTF!
I was showing a video of one of the strongest weight class snatches in history, and a guy asked if they used kilos for the units. Ummm, yes. WTF?
Two guys at my gym commented on me squatting with bands while they were curling in the squat rack next to me. WTF!
After doing a 405 deadlift for two reps at my "poseur gym" (they had a platform with their logo on it and me and my O-lifter buddies were the only ones who even KNEW what the platform was for), some trainer dude comes over to me and says, "You're gonna hurt yourself. Your form was all wrong. You don't bend your knees when you lift!" I asked him to show me how to do it. WTF!
"Have you had your personal fitness assessment conducted by one of our certified trainers? As a member, you are entitled to it!"
I just got out of the hot tub and was in the locker room changing when this guy comes in after me, walks past me and goes, "Dude, I just have to tell you, your arms are f'ing huge." WTF
I ate a box of Oreos and my dad called me a binge eater. WTF?
The day after a crazy squat day, I see one of my clients at a busy store. He yells out to me as he grabs his rear,"Boy, is my ass sore after last night!!!" WTF?!?
I don't do my legs. I play soccer, so I get all the workout I need from that. WTF!
Just finished up at the Aussie PL nationals on the weekend. Burst all the blood vessels in my eyes on the deads. Yesterday, the clerk at the grocerry store asked me if I knew that my eyes were bleeding. WTF!
"Don't you worry about hurting your back when you arch it like that?" Talking about my bench press. WTF!
A doctor told my fifty-something client he didn't need to lift since he already had enough muscle. I guess he's not aware that 50 is the age when strength, muscle and power drop like a rock and everyone needs to be weight training. WTF?
If you have long arms you only have to bring the bar halfway down on the bench press and not touch the chest, or better yet, use dumbbells. (Use DB's if your arms are longer? How do they magically get shorter than when using a bar??).
Don't squats stunt your growth?
I do legs on Monday because testosterone is activated when you train your abductors. WTF?!?
My mom giving me shit for eating a big carton of egg beaters or drinking half a gallon of skim milk, when they have a whopping 450 and 640 calories respectively. She asks me if drinking half a gallon of milk is bad for me. WTF?
I'm dead lifting in my old gym and the helper comes over and says, "That's pretty loud, could you go over and use the machines?" WTF!
"Why would you want to be that strong?" After discussing future goals with our company's wellness coordinator. WTF!
Taking BCAAs after training...total stranger f*ckjob asks: "Are those steroids?" WTF!
My 'physical conditioning' teacher didn't know what a kettlebell swing or a good morning was...WTF!
A few weeks ago, a guy comes up and says, "Wow, thats a lot of weight, and you squat all the way down with it! Why is that?!?" Guy was dead serious. He went back to grunting through some brutal 200 pound pulldowns/back extensions after I tried to explain it to him through a massive grin. WTF!
Sitting at our front desk, I recieved a call asking what Street Road looks like. How the f--k would I know, since I'm sitting at a desk? I responded by telling him it's a four lane highway with double yellow lines and traffic lights running through Bucks County. The member told my boss my response was mean and rude. She's never been to a real gym....
This guy at the gym was trying to squat with 315 on the bar. He finished, unracked one side of it, when it went toppling down and smashed the mirrors. He looked around and ran. WTF?
A guy and his son are always at my gym. They load up the bench with 95 pounds and put the pussy pad on the bar to "protect their chests." WTF?
A five minute conversation with a cardio queen at the gym who said she would NEVER want to get strong if it meant getting big. The next day she and her little treadmill mate bitched for 20 minutes about the fact that they couldn't "lose their tummies" even after spending an hour a day on the treadmill. WTF!
A web site with a training log of a dude who overhead presses 115x5. WTF!
I brought my EFS squat box to a commercial gym my Elite box. After I finished my squat workout, a fat trainer from the gym came over and asked if he could look at the box. After he walked around examining it for a minute he started doing box jumps onto it. The fat bastard landed so hard on it I thought it was going to break. WTF?
Imaginary Lat Syndrome
"All You" benching.
"Come squat with us!"
"Sorry, I can't. I have bad knees."
"Why are you using testosterone injections?"
"My body doesn't create testosterone naturally, so I have to put it in myself."
This one idiot at the gym had the nerve to say, "Women shouldn't do powerlifting," and then stared at my ass like a sodium intolerent sea slug...WTF! Who needs steroids when you can have PMS?! WTF!
Posted on Craigslist: "Getting rid of power rack so I can buy a Bowflex." Good call.
When i was doing farmers walk on a track...some girl said, are you a fireman? lol - WTF!
This is the story of the last day of the EliteFTS fellowship in May with my senior player "Stink."
That Sunday, the last day of the fellowship, started off as a great day. Stink and I were invited to breakfast with Louie Simmons. The whole night before, and during the drive to breakfast, I was trying to get stink to think of questions to ask Louie, because knowing Stink, he will be so excited and "bonered" up that he will forget to speak.
Anyway, while at breakfast, Louie and I were talking and Stink just sat there piling food into his mouth not saying a word. I could tell he was nervous as s--t because he wouldn't stop twitching his leg. It was like he was dry humping the s--t out of the table. Finally I looked at Stink and gave him a look as if I wanted him to say something...anything...just speak. So, finally he sat up and stopped shaking to ask Louie, "Where did the dynamic effort come from?"
Louie looked at him and said, "Read a f---ing book!" WTF, Stink?!? All of the questions we thought of together on the way here and the night before, and thats the best one you can ask?!?
So, after breakfast, Stink and I drove to the EliteFTS Compound so I could finish up the fellowship, and he was invited to bench with some of the other Elite lifters there. The biggest guy was Christian Mello, who looks just like Vin Diesel but ten times bigger - and if Vin Diesel had his head shrunk by the doctor in Beetlejuice. After the upper body workout, Christian, a couple other guys and Stink went outside to push the Prowler while Dave and I stayed in to work on benching technique. Well, Stink was so excited and nervous to be there that he wanted to obviously show off. After about 10 minutes of pushing the Prowler, Christian came running in to say that my boy was puking his breakfast all over the steps to the office. WTF?!?
I went in to see how he was doing, and he had locked himself into the bathroom because he said that before he started pushing the Prowler that he had to shit and that on top of showing off with the Prowler, he exploded. WTF?