Dave Tate knows a thing or two about putting on a good bloat. In fact, back in his days of competitive powerlifting, he had an entire process he used for bloating up for the heaviest squat days at the end of a meet training cycle. For today's Table Talk, Dave answers a question about the foods best for this type of goal:

"What's the best food before a big squat session? My only food limitations include sour cream and anything that doesn't contain copious amounts of gluten. Serious answers only."

If you're looking for a serious answer to a question about building a bloat, you've come to the right place. This used to be one of Dave's favorite things to do, especially closer to a meet. Dave begins his answer by saying that if you're a multi-ply or even a single-ply lifter, you have to be careful of how much you bloat up before training or a meet — too much and your gear won't fit right. Dave's typical protocol, which he would use most commonly in the final three heavy weeks of a training cycle, would start on Wednesday and peak for Friday's squat session. The basic premise was to consume enormous amounts of salt and carbohydrates.

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The goal for a better bloat is to significantly increase carbohydrate and sodium intake. Foods like ramen noodles—and even adding salt to the ramen noodles—are perfect. In addition to ramen noodles, Dave would have large amounts of half-cut Gatorade, carbohydrate supplement drinks, salt and vinegar chips, and other foods high in carbs and sodium. Usually, Dave would try to put on 10 pounds from Wednesday to Friday. Knowing what he wanted to weigh by the day of the session, he could continually weigh himself while eating these foods to ensure he was reaching the goal.

One thing Dave was always mindful of during this process was how often he needed to urinate. If you're trying to pack on weight but are constantly getting up to go to the bathroom and take a piss, you need to scale back the Gatorade intake, because it's basically going right through you. This won't help you at all. Dave's thought process every time he did this was pretty simple: look for the highest sodium foods, blast Gatorade, weigh yourself, and increase water or Gatorade intake if the weight isn't going up.

As usual, this is not medical advice, this is not advice from a registered dietician, and it is not something you should undergo without speaking with your doctor or a medical professional. Dave is just a meathead talking about the meathead things he used to do. There are plenty of reasons not to emulate Dave's behavior — excessively high blood pressure being chief amongst them. Don't be stupid and don't do anything your body can't handle.