Move over, Oprah’s Favorite Things — these are the hottest and strongest gifts of the season, all in a one-stop-shopping guide.

Do you know a poor dude whose testicles really need to drop this holiday season? This selection of gifts has been proven to raise testosterone levels by as much as 1,849 percent!

While your keto-obsessed cousin and diabetic grandmother stress over their diet decisions and stay away from the dessert tray, go all in. Make Christmas count this year.

Members in smaller training facilities are like family, and what says family more than giving a gift to someone you can’t stand?

The term “dad bod” was tossed my direction more often than I could count when I found out I was going to be a dad, and I was certain that I wasn’t going to fall into this physique and let my lifestyle slip because of any children. These items will ensure that I have a beach bod, not a dad bod.

I am here to tell you if these are on your Christmas list and you get all these items, then you will be on track for a massive total and some of the best training of your life. I cannot recommend all of these pieces enough.

Use these items 20 minutes a day, every day, and you’ll be a MILF in no time.

Let’s be honest: Moms do most of the work at first with babies. That means us dads need to make sure that we’re in the best shape to help our strong, badass wives with the newest addition of the family, and this wishlist will kick our dad bods back into shape.

With no weight class or aesthetic events to worry about around the holiday season, it’s a perfect opportunity to pack on some extra mass… and to pick up some gifts for your favorite powerbuilder.

Your training space is a one-car stall garage, and you want quality equipment at a decent price. Does this sound like you? Great, say no more. Every small garage gym owner should have these five things for endless training possibilities and year-round gains.

Bad news: Your buddy is on the Naughty List. The only thing he deserves for the holidays is a kick in the ass to get back into the gym. Good news: You take the high road and give him the gift of training with you next year with some nice incentives.

It’s winter, it’s cold, and Dave says fuck warm-ups. With these items, you’ll stay warmer than you’ve ever been, in and out of the gym.

Now that I’m out in the middle of nowhere, I’m looking forward to beginning my descent into hermitude and madness as I train alone. Picture Jack Nicholson’s character in “The Shining” except more swole because of these 5 items.

If you have gym friends with different focuses, no worries! The gifts on this shopping list are sure to please both of your powerlifting pals, regardless of their goals, focus, or social media presence.

My fiancée has helped me grow as a person emotionally, mentally, and of note here, physically — I’ve put on about 100 pounds in the last four years, so I need to become the man she sees me as. The items on this list will help me accomplish just that.

Having a garage gym has been my dream since 1999. Now I’m going on my 10th year in my second marriage with two kids and working as a part-time Mr. Mom and a part-time gas utility worker in Northern California. That dream is slowly becoming a reality, and the items on this list will help speed things up.

Don’t despair. Christmas is the season of hope, and these 10 ideas will help ease the pain that years of abuse from Uncle Sam have wrought on that body. So break out the AMEX and get your older military officer or veteran back in the fight!